The Easiest Cheeseball You'll Ever Love . . .

Some of the best recipes I have are for things I do not eat -- this is one of them. It gets more demand than anything I make, regardless of the occasion. If we're having a pot luck at the store, Karen wants my cheeseball. Family gatherings -- Mom wants the cheeseball. My friends Tom & Carol have a group over for New Year's Eve every year -- they want TWO cheeseballs (one for the party and one to eat the next day).



The amazing thing about it is it's EASY -- there are only four ingredients. But it still takes 45 minutes or so to make because of the time it takes to cut everything into little pieces. And that's the secret -- you have to take a knife and CUT everything. I have tried chopping tools and processors and such, and they just don't work as well.

Here's what you'll need:

4 Bricks of Philadelphia Cream Cheese (not reduced fat or 1/3 less fat -- it doesn't set up)
2 Bunches of Green Onions
1/2 Red Onion
1 lb. Buddig Beef
A Sharp Knife and a Cutting Board

And here we go . . .



Take four bricks of Philadelphia Cream Cheese and set them on the counter to warm up a little while you're working on the other ingredients (you'll appreciate this later).



Trim the green onions on both ends (cut off all of the white stuff on one end and an inch or so of the green stuff on the other -- how was that for a male description?) and rinse. Then slice the long way into thin strips. Depending on how the green onions look, you may only have to slice them once or you may have to slice three or more times into thinner strips.



Then crosscut the strips into little tiny pieces, the smaller the better. I usually grab a handful of the strips and hold them together at the end and try hard to miss my fingers as I cut over and over.



Red onion is next. Cut several slices, and then cut the slices in half and again cut more of those little bitty pieces.



Scrape everything off the cutting board into a mixing bowl as you go.



Next up is the Buddig Beef. Sometimes you can get it in one big package, but you may have to get eight of the little 2 oz. packages. Put everything together into a couple of half pound stacks, and then cut each stack into 16 squares.



Again, everything goes into the bowl. It helps if you try to separate the little pieces of beef as you go.



The cream cheese goes in next. Now comes the messy part -- if you wear rings, you might want to take them off first. And put a couple of pieces of aluminum foil on the counter next to you so you have someplace to put the cheeseballs when you're done.



Dig in and combine the ingredients. Squish it between your fingers over and over. Turn it upside down to get the onions off the bottom of the bowl and squish some more. By the time you're finished, it should be tough to recognize those little squares of beef anymore.



You've got enough here for two nice cheeseballs -- one to serve and one to keep. Form two nice balls and put each on a separate piece of aluminum foil (or two crossed pieces as I did above).



Then wrap your cheeseballs in aluminum foil, flatten the bottom so they will sit well on cheeseball trays, and put them into the refrigerator for at least two or three hours.



And you'll need a box of your favorite crackers. My wife likes Keebler Toasteds Onion Crackers, but you can't find them everywhere.



Enjoy -- I'm off to load the truck for the show in York, Pennsylvania this weekend . . .